Yes, Connie Meeks Duffey is one of the worst! She is extremely rude, yet claims other people are, not her.

She will absolutely quickly create a memorial as burial unknown and then move them to cemeteries after someone else does the research or BETTER YET... enters their own family! She did this to me then left a nasty note on my bio page. When I responded to her as politely as I could but telling her I knew exactly what she did, she deleted my response.

I left hers so others can see how rude she is. She has changed her name on findagrave to Heartbroken Daddy's Girl. You can find her here: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=mr&MRid=4847**** If you read through all the comments left on her page you will see that she has upset quite a few people if she doesn't get busy deleting. Click to their bio page and read the messages she left for them.

She also wouldn't let a poor man keep the memorial he entered for his deceased mother-in-law on the same day she did, except hers was burial unknown, then moved. She insisted he delete his, as she tried to do with me, and then would not transfer to him. Also, yesterday she had 3,040 memorials entered. (Today she has 3,089, busy girl!) My point is not how many memorials she entered today but how many of the 3,040 were burial unknown.

She upset me so badly yesterday that I scrolled through and counted. There were 732. That's about 25%! Go to her page and scroll through and see for yourself how many there are!

She claimed to me that she enters memorials and then moves them once the obituary is posted a few days later but those 732 prove otherwise. First of all, it's excessive, but also, they are not recent.

She enters them and then moves on and they are just floating out there for NO ONE to find. She is a witch!

Product or Service Mentioned: Find A Grave Profile.

Reason of review: Rude contributor.

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I'm very sorry that you had to deal with Connie Meeks Duffey. She has done the exact same thing with my Mom.

My Mom had not been dead for 2 full days when the funeral home posted her obituary on their website for family and personal friends to view. We were still grieving, trying to make arrangements, trying to call family members, trying to help make arrangements for family to get to town for the service. My sisters live in Texas, so this was on me to do mostly alone. My thought was not, I've got to create a memorial on Find a Grave so a stranger won't do it for me!

We had the memorial service 3 days after Mom died. She was cremated, so her ashes were not ready for burial, this takes a week or more. My sisters had to return to Texas. We have not buried my Mom as of yet.

So we did not want to create the memorial until we have her buried. She will be buried in West Tennessee where my Daddy, sister, and many of our family are buried. The next thing I know, I'm getting a "Hint" on Ancestry.com on my Mom and it's for Find a Grave because this person called "Daddy's Girl" Find a Grave Member ID # 4847****, who I found out is Connie Meeks Duffey, created a memorial for my Mom. This person is a stranger who did not know my Mom, and is definitely not related to us.

Her comment section has been turned off so you can't contact her. And now I know why. She had no email address on her profile, so you can't contact her that way. The only way you could contact her is to go under my Mom's memorial under "Suggest Edits" and then under "Suggest Additional Edits".

I did tell her that I did not appreciate that she created the memorial when we had not had time to grieve and had not even had the service yet. I told her I knew she was trying to help, but that it should have been created by a family member, not a stranger. She sent me a very rude message back saying she didn't break any rules. I once again messaged her through the "Suggest Edits" and "Suggest Additional Edit" and asked her if she would please transfer the memorial, since she was my Mom.

I told her I know she was trying to help, but she would have felt the same way had someone created her dead father's memorial and she had not known them. She has refused to transfer the memorial. I do believe this is a pattern with this woman. I talked with the funeral home whom she stated gave her the information.

The funeral director said this was a lie, and that they never give any information out. The funeral director and I spoke at length and he gave me 2 names of people he knew who had passed away, one was his sister, and she had created her memorial. The other was his friend who was buried at a competitor's funeral home and Connie Meeks Duffey had also created his memorial. We began looking at other funeral homes in the area, and the daily obituaries and for each one, Connie had already created memorials.

These people are not even cold yet and in their graves. The families have not had time to mourn. This is just insensitive. To create memorials and have them floating out there and you have no idea where they are being buried and not have correct information on them is just flat wrong.

But she has made sure she has cut off any way to communicate with her, not only on Find a Grave, because she has gotten so many complaints against her. She truly has upset a lot of people with the way she is treating them. She is insensitive to the fact that these families have not had time to grieve, are still making preparations for their families, and would like the option to be able to create or at least manage their family's memorial. She lacks professionalism and common courtesy.

In my case, since she wouldn't transfer the memorial, I went ahead and created a memorial for my Mom with the correct information on it as to where she will be buried, although she is not yet buried there. I didn't want to do that yet, but she left me no choice. As soon as I created that memorial and had literally just hit post, within minutes, she had linked my Daddy to her memorial, which was not linked to him before. I only know this because I had noticed that he wasn't linked already, and I was going to link him to my Mom's memorial that I created and she had just linked him to her memorial of my Mom's.

It used to be that you had to approve a family member being linked to a memorial that you owned, but this must have changed because I can't unlink her memorial from my Daddy. Also, since I created my Mom's memorial she has gone on my memorial for my Mom and taken some of the information off of there and put it on her memorial, this is information that she did not have before I created my Mom's memorial. I have gone through the steps to correct this situation to the best that I can and according to the policy of Find a Grave. Under Find a Grave FAQ's Section under the question "What if a member will not transfer a relative to me?" "If the memorial in question is a direct relative within four generations (siblings, parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents) to you and the memorial manager is not direct family, then they must transfer the memorial.

If they refuse to transfer the memorial, contact info@***.com and we will work on it for you." I also contacted Find a Grave on Facebook explaining the situation. They told me to contact Find a Grave through their Support email at support@***.com and they would be able to assist me with this problem. I emailed both addresses: info@***.com and support@***.com I will continue to message them until I get this resolved. I must say that my problem is not with the wonderful volunteers who add information, take photos, and who create memorials.

I believe the family should have the option to create their family member's memorial first. They at least need time to bury their family member. And if someone else created their family's memorial, it should be transferred to them. I, myself, have created memorials for people who I do not know when I come across them and realize they are not on Find a Grave because they deserve to be remembered and honored.

But if a family member comes along and wants that memorial, I will transfer it to them with no problem. I have also added memorials from cemeteries that I've photographed. I've sent "Suggested Edits" with information I've found on people who are not family, but I have the resources and documents in front of me to prove the information that I am giving them. I usually try to post this information as a picture on the page.

Anyway, I'm not talking about the people who do these things. The people who do these things are doing it the right way. Honestly, when you have someone who has this many complaints and they've had to shut off their comments because of it, then something is definitely wrong. And the people who are bashing you for making your complaint should just keep quiet.

Until it has happened to them, they don't know what they are talking about. I understand you and there are plenty of others who do as well. These type of people really do need to be stopped because as they say, "One bad apple spoils the whole bunch." You keep your head high. Keep fighting for your family and what you know is right.

As far as family, I know my husband uses my account, so the person who said that in-laws are not family is wrong. They are family as much as the rest. If it boils down to it. Create your husband an account, get them transferred to him, then transfer them to you.

Again, I'm very sorry you had to deal with her. Oh, and she's up to 7,226 memorials added as of today. So I do think she is in the numbers game for sure. It's crazy.

If she would just do it the right way and take the families into consideration, and then transfer the memorials it would be a whole different situation, but she is just not doing that. It's very sad. I think she needs help. Good luck to you.

I do hope you got some resolution. I do plan on getting mine.

I'll fight until I do. Blessings and hugs!


Here are the nasty notes left.... doesn't sound nasty to me, just matter of fact....decide for yourself.

burial unknown

many memorials are placed on Find A Grave when posted at a funeral home as unknown until the obit is posted and the location of burial is then known.

The obit has been posted and the info is know.

Therefore, according to findagrave rules, yours is a duplicate and needs to be removed. You would then need to request a transfer.


burial unknown many memorials are placed on Find A Grave when posted at a funeral home as unknown until the obit is posted and the location of burial is then known. The obit has been posted and the info is now known.

Therefore, according to findagrave rules, yours is a duplicate and needs to be removed. You would then need to request a transfer.


(#4729****) Debbie Z


upset that someone didn't bow down to her


Looks to me like the typical busy-body bully talk that goes on with this site. Some of these busy body boneheads need to get a life and stop spreading FALSE gossip around about others there be cause they do not have real lives! Look out for find-a-fool!



letter by Karen Whitworth Cook....

she thinks as the ex wife of a deceased person that she is supposed to be ruler of his memorial. There is a reason for the divorce.

as to grind much


not all no cemetery listings on a person's list is an unknown....that also shows when there are cremations.

sounds to me like you are just a busy body, shame on you!


It appears you need to become acquainted with findagrave rules on original and duplicate memorials and transfer of relatives.

I found hundreds of messages on her page with pleasant business as usual information. You truly have too much time on your hands.

Sounds like sour grapes to me.


I ckd her page and it appears the memorials of which she created for "true family members" she transferred to the family.

Perhaps there is more to this story than you are actually telling.

There is always two sides to a story.


It's amazing that you are willing to trash her, yet you are too much of a coward to post her name. I too looked at her *** stuff, and it appears she is following the rules.

in laws and such are not considered "relatives".

Sounds to me you may have some witch in you, calling someone out but not saying who you are.

No witch, would be too kind. You are a cowardly whiner.


They have got to do something about these online "grave robbers". It's horrible what they do just for #'s

One stole my mothers memorial just today!


how can they steal you Mother's memorial? Did you ask for a transfer as it was your Mother's memorial?

If not, do that...and if they do not comply, write to the admins on findagrave....they will do it for you if you just explain the situation. Findagrave has clear cut rules. It appears the person complaining here may not be telling the whole truth. Pity she is saying such ugly things about someone.

Go to her page and see all the lovely things people have been saying about her for years.

Something just is not right about this complaint. I hope you get your Mother's memorial for you to manage.

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