Find A Grave - Horrible "Admins"

I have contacted find a grave about a complaint several times over the past year with absolutely no response. I first tried using the address info@***.com. After a couple of months of no response, I decided to contact the admins directly, starting with the one who calls himself AJ Marik. I waited a few weeks and, you guessed it, no response. I then sent emails to every address listed for the admins. No one has ever gotten back to me. My emails contained no disrespect and contained a proper "subject" as stated in the guidelines. I think that this website is very poorly run and obviously plays favorites with its "top" contributors, forum hounds, and memorial hoarders.
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That same ***, Anthony Jerome, "AJ" Marik deleted 5 years of Biography work I did on a grave I found belonging to a Medal of Honor awardee with the help of his only grand child. F.A.G.

had created a memorial with NO grave, a violation of there own guidelines. I had just heard that the Congressional Medal of Honor Society had vetted all my research and were beginning the process for getting a marker placed. All my hard work was finally being vindicated with a marker! I went to update my memorial and it was GONE.

The F.A.G. memorial still out in La La land with all the old bad information. So I write Katrina asking what happened to my memorial in such and such Cemetery. Then I get a response that my email was forwarded to AJ the archivist and if my issue had not been resolved to email.

Well of course nothing was resolved so I emailed AJ back and got this from him.

"The memorial for Mr. Siegel that you created in 2010 was merged into the existing memorial. Find a Grave does not allow duplicate memorials under any circumstances."

So I checked the memorial link he sent and it was now in the correct cemetery they had deleted mine from but had none of the information mine had and they had even deleted there incorrect death date and left it blank. He did not even transfer the flowers.

Now F.A.G.

had always led me to believe if you find a grave and create a memorial and there is another one that has NO location and is just out in La La land that the memorial in the CORRECT location will have the other merged with it.

Well there was no merging at all in this case just deleting and flat out lying.

Well karma is coming for AJ you my friend! You keep beating your dog and one day he will turn and *** your ***.


Report it to They need to know how these people treat us.


AJ Marik is a powerwhore as are all the other so called "administration" remember the so called "faq's" stands for frequently ask questions not RULES they are just "guidelines". We are all hopeful that ancestry will eliminate the "administration" and allow former members that have been banned because of "favoritism" and bias in favor of top contributors. Jim Tipton is nothing more than a heartless mormanmoron.


... and the nature of your complaint?

Their admin is not the most responsive, but it does appear that they have a priority system in place.

Perhaps, your complaint is low on their list. Perhaps you should become a little more of a "squeaky wheel"


Jim Tipton is a f.a.g. r.a.t!

He and his pinions should have be tarred and feathered. I hope everybody takes their dogs to take a big f.a.g.

S..H..I..T! on his families graves!


Interesting tack, but effective???? If the memorials are "FREE", then they must be the product.

This is a lucrative business venture. In the words of Milton Friedman, TANSTAAFL: There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.


f.a.g. administration are bullies & unsrupulous!


THEN DON'T SUPPORT THEIR BUSINESS. Let their advertisers know that you won't by products that avail themselves of their product.

Get you friends and family to do the same.


I can't believe the person calling themselves OMG just commented by saying bucko? Are you serious?

And they wrote it in all caps! This is a prime example of the behavior that goes on at f.a.g. The level of immaturity is unbelievable. The site is run by ego maniacs and most of it's minions are immature, ego-inflated, bobbleheads that have nothing better to do than disrespect the deceased and their loved ones.

Their comments speak for themselves and expose them for what they really are. "Let him rave on, that men shall know him mad"....Yul Brenner, The Ten Commandments.


don't understand the previous comment? However, I totally agree with the complaint find a grave administration only addresses their friends issues.

I suggest you contact the BBB of Utah, (that is the Better Business Bureau of Utah) and place a formal complaint they are not in good standing with the BBB, lets all keep it that way, since f.a.g. does not care as long as they continue to profit from the deaths of our loved ones.

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#208931 Review #208931 is a subjective opinion of poster.
Rochester, New York
Find A Grave Forum

Find A Grave - Find-A-Grave

I have been a contributor for about two months and I have to echo DBA82'S comments; I've been able to help so many people find lost family members. I take pictures of very old gravestones especially and have posted them along with entire cemeteries. All the messages I have received have been grateful and positive. I am a genealogist researcher and find the site very helpful, so I know other researchers feel the same. Find-A-Grave has been a wonderful tool for such a large project. As far as getting help. Asking questions. Pointing out mistakes. I've never had a bad experience. I do not participate in any forum.
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I Like this post because you can go years and be fine before running in to the dark side of this website.Its not likely this poster is still blind to it if they are blind to it be careful


It is obvous you know my name, but I don't know yours.

What do you mean by "you have been cheated" and " are being stalked"?

Both terms are not related to the work done on Find-A-Grave.


Rudy, they would be greater if they respected their users, word travels fast when you been cheated, its a shame a site will put up all these rules and not abide by a user's request when they are being stalked, to me thats disrespect at its highest accord!

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#203517 Review #203517 is a subjective opinion of poster.
Chesterfield, Virginia
Find A Grave Forum

Find A Grave

Find A Grave
I am member of the Find A Grave forums, but probably not for much longer. On September 26, 2009, under the thread: Subject line reaction was the following joke: "Subject: How do I grave Thought: Find a eager, but not too bright of an assistant. A hunchback would be perfect, and . . . " When a new member pointed out that the joke was not funny (she stated she had Scoliosis) some of the forum members got very rude with her. She tried to get an Administrator to "pull" the joke, but two Administrators thought the joke was funny and no one did anything about the joke. Please if you think this type of joke was truly inappropriate, please email them at: info@***.com. Thank you.
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Find A Grave was sold to Ancestry a year ago or more. Now they delete you're account...even though you have been with the site since the beginning.

They also delete you're memorials you set up for you're family at their whim. They steal you're records because when they delete you're account they keep you're family memorials and lock you out.

I believe this is illegal. Getting someone to do work for you where you profit and they don't is called slavery and that is illegal in the United States.


Hey, you're is a contraction for "you are" not "your" as in the possessive "Your family".

just saying


They only banned you for not following the rules. They remove doubles and if you have burial unknown and it is added to a cemetery the unknown gets removed.

When you join you agree to follow their rules. Do as you want gets you kiked off as it should be.


Looks like that person was in the Lounge, and in there, almost anything goes. I too have Scoliosis but can have fun with it to keep from being depressed over it.

You dont like it, dont go there.

Too many other places to go and things to do on there. Maybe the admins should have deleted it when she asked but like I said, I can make a joke out of it instead of focusing my life on a disability.


Find-a-grave SO many ways. Move on because you are better than those losers.


this site is not worth your attention move on before they suck the life out of you they are vampires


Yes I am a f.a.g. hag and the devil and I love to torment others.

I am soo sorry that I have become such a hateful fool and have nothing better to do than attack and make fun of others but what else am I to nice or no not me. The only virus I found on my computer was herpes & syphilis...I have been a bad hag!


So sorry about my previous response...I do agree it was NOT a joke and the website if full of people like me and the author of the joke that careless about people and we like to use our freedom of speech to attack others...I know I am just a hateful hag please forgive me I know I am going to hades since I have more in common with satan.


Indeed my friend. I learned the hard way not to haggle with an old bag-hag on FDG.

Hags are not cool.

Truly The evils advocates. :sigh :cry



I've been thinking here just a bit, and I think I will forgive you for being an old nag on ***. It is not every day that we can get an apology from a real live HAG.

Thank you soooooooo much!

Best wishes :roll

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#158456 Review #158456 is a subjective opinion of poster.
Ewing, Illinois
Find A Grave Forum

Re Find a Grave

I was always courteous and tactful in the forum until the discussion about illegal aliens. One of our police officers was gunned down and killed for stopping a questioning a suspicious person. He was the third officer killed in the line of duty in our an illegal...this year. The discussion became heated, and I was blunt. I wasn't indecent or crude, I just stated my feelings...just like many people do in that forum. I wasn't warned...I was removed, along with the memorials I had created for close friends, and my pet dog. As far as the comments I left with my 'flowers' and graphics....they were made to a dear friend who had a member of his family raped and murdered by an illegal. The murderer got away with it and as far as I know, living in Mexico. I used to spend a lot of time reading the messages left on the memorials...and it seemed to be a place where you could 'speak' with your departed loved one without worrying about 'nosey' censors sticking their two cents in. This is not the case. My deceased friend would have totally understood my comments. While he was alive, he had to put up with people who felt sorry for the illegals, while his family suffered a tragic loss. Find a grave immediately removed his memorial, along with my other memorials, and I was banned permanently. I found it interesting that others could 'hotly' debate any subject without being banned. I guess it just depends on who they like. I was totally aware of the rules. My comments in the forum were my opinions. I didn't post often..but when illegal immigration came up, it hit a nerve. Most of my time on Find A Grave was making special graphics for other people's memorials. I enjoyed this very much, and made many friends. I still keep in touch with these special people...they have never joined the forum discussions...they simply visit their loved ones up there. My mistake was voicing an opinion....I should have stayed out of the forum all together. They have the right to ban who they want...but I think its terrible to remove the memorials that were created. Many people who had nothing to do with the forums visited these memorial often, and left flowers and kind remarks. Why should Find A Grave delete the deceased, their pictures and tokens? I
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#1 Boring Old Me wrote in response to FindAGraveHero: "You are wrong. Memorials ARE deleted when administrators get ticked off about something you say in the chat forum. I know someone who had this happen him. Get your facts straight. The administrators do NOT think the rules of Find A Grave apply to them, and they very arbitrarily do as they wish, no matter what the rules say."

You are absolutely correct, except you should have added that the admins' PETS also can get you banned if you say something they don't like.

I made copies on my computer and then yanked my memorials before they got the chance!


You are wrong. Memorials ARE deleted when administrators get ticked off about something you say in the chat forum.

I know someone who had this happen him. Get your facts straight.

The administrators do NOT think the rules of Find A Grave apply to them, and they very arbitrarily do as they wish, no matter what the rules say.


Please be advised that this person is lying.If someone is banned from the forums, their memorials are never removed, unless the person himself requests it.

Nobody is banned for merely stating his opinion on a contraversial topic. Only for taunting and enflaming other forum members.


What ever you do don’t give them your credit card number to charge for a $5.00 sponsorship. I just got back over $500.00 in charges to my account. The admins are rude, Jim the owner will respond if he thinks there is money for him to make.

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#142502 Review #142502 is a subjective opinion of poster.
Tempe, Arizona
Find A Grave Forum

Find a Grave

My biggest complaint is with our "Forum Royalty ***" or "Virtual Police". They go around and report things that they do not like. You can't even defend yourself or place a comment. They are very rude and ignorant, especially one who calls herself "Hotlips" and the administator allows this. There is no compassion for any-ones feelings. *** needs to take charge of their company and get rid of these "virtual police", they say this is a family friendly site...I'd like to know where the love is cause if you go to the forum it's not there!
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jim tipton is profit-ing from others loss not to mention the millions of photos that volunteers post to the site. tipton is lining his pockets off the backs of others...not only from the photos but from the sponorships.

he does not have a secular job all his income comes from volunteers who put out the gas and time to photograph gravestones and log cemeteries.

he then allows his unscrupolous administration beat down members that have contributed thousands of photos and memorials...ITS A BAD SITE FOR VOLUNTEERS THEY ARE BEING USED & ABUSED BY FIND A GRAVE! BEWARE DO NOT EVER CONTRIBUTE YOU WILL REGRET IT EVENTUALLY.

Matthew U

Wherever you get selfish people together there will always be this kind of behavior, you will have to disregard most of what others say and go with your gut instincts. Although, not everyone has the best judgement, so step lightly and hopefully you can use forums and boards without wanting to get involved with the B.S.

that will be there.

I usually get disgusted after maybe 10 minutes on these sites due to the mindless statements made by so many, if you cannot spell and use proper grammar......I would prefer that you just text message your friends or stay on Facebook with the other mindless people and leave the forums for more intellectual subjects. It does not appear that college helps in any way, shape or form......unfortunately it actually makes them more moronic and useless to society.

Matthew U

I have been a member of "Find-a-Grave" for years, have several memorials there as well. I have completed some gravesite photo requests for others that are not in the area to visit themselves, although I will only participate in photo requests if they are in community cemeteries......I have zero interest in church based graveyards. I was reprimanded a year ago because I refused to complete an assignment after accepting it once I was aware that it was in a church cemetery.

I simply do not want any involvement in their religious ***, there is typically nothing but dishonesty and corruption there anyway. I was respectful at the time when I had to notify them and back-out of the photo request. Again, as a volunteer I reserve the right to not take on an assignment if it doesn't fit in my personal beliefs. I certainly wasn't being compensated for it, it would be 30 minutes in traffic [each way]; time to locate the plot at the office and individual gravesite, then come home and finish up the assignment. When I complete these requests, I use my iPhone 4S that is equipped with an HD quality camera for still pics & video. I also record the exact location by using the GPS coordinates assigned by when taking the images, the iPhone GPS software will give you the longitude & latitude on each photo. This is really helpful so that if someone wishes to visit at a later time, they can just plug these coordinates into their own GPS and it will give them the approximate location [this is usually within a foot +/- at most]. Every reasonable person that I have done an assignment for has been appreciative for the level of detail, including the GPS information for their records.

When I stated that I had no interest in church related tasks [mind you this was made in a polite manner], I was treated like *** both by the admin and the person who had made the request for photos & gravesite location. I reserve the right to reject any assignment that I do not wish to be part of; and for religious requests this is a no-brainer. I don't believe this stuff, and will not tolerate others trying to cram it down my throat. When I am pushed about it, I will simply tell them why and that is my decision not theirs to make for me.

Americans.....they cannot stand it when others want to make their own decisions. At 40 years old, I believe that I can make such conclusions on my own without "jesus" guiding me, unlike most americans.....I CAN think for myself.

I don't care if someone else wants to waste time on religion, just the same I do not want others telling me that I cannot decide what is best for me. Please just keep it to yourself; stop blessing idiots around you, if they want this stuff they can seek it out on their own!!!!!!!!!!


Do any of you think that complaining on some distasteful site is doing any good? I mean come on grow up.

Jim owns this site and runs it the way he wants to run it.

um verbally abusive volunteers verbally abusive help forum verbally abusive administration participants stalking and threatening family members. which site were you talking about being distasteful this one we are posting on?

or the one that has volunteers attacking the mother of a 6 year old girl who felt violated when a stranger photographed her daughters grave and created a memorial for her and posted it on the web. I believe they are telling her to get over herself.


This is the way it goes in all forums unfortunately. People can be rude anyway but you give 'em a fake username & wow.

On their forum I report dup cemeteries & that's about it. If you read the rules & stick with them you usually can't go wrong therefore don't really need the forums.


Some people on the forums are sometimes not so nice. Amazingly, this is the same just about everywhere on planet earth!

"If you can't swim, don't ump in the water"


"missed forever"

appears to be someone who works for Tipton the owner or quite possibly is Tipton.

Whoever it is, it is not a normal posting but one from someone with animus against these complainers.

In fact it resembles the very attitudes from which the complaints stem. Thus adding to the likelihood that "missed forever" is one of the Admin types of the site.


I thought this was a consumer site. How can one be a comsumer when they were given something free no strings attached?

I for one do not care if Jim is becoming a rich man from this site (which is very unlikely) being able to visit my loved ones memorials is worth all the money in the world.

I don't understand why the crybabies don't just take their memorials and start their own site. There are tons of FREE sites you can use.

I have never seen anyones memorials be deleted for no reason. When it does happen it is because simply rules can't be followed.

Are you complainers going to carry this with you for the rest of your lives? How is complaining on here memorializing your loved ones? Get over it and yourselves!!!!!!!


This whole thing really amuses me. I mean all the whining and belly aching is still going on for no reason. If you don't like it leave.

Do any of you think that complaining on some distasteful site is doing any good? I mean come on grow up. Jim owns this site and runs it the way he wants to run it.

Here's an idea for you open your own site then you can make your own rules.


The admins believe they own your ancestor, father, brother, sister and mother, particularly once they declare them "Famous" such as several of my near kin.

Their rules are not posted and seem to be made up as they deal with problems.

They do not advertise that a descendant, who is a direct relative can obtained control of their loved one's obituary, but apparently a spouse, who is not a direct relative in any sense of the word direct, may or may not, depending on who reads their hidden rulebook.

Pompous is not sufficient to describe their attitudes on your loved ones.

They can post an incorrect photo, write a pitiful memorial and still think that by your relative being determined to be Famous, you have to seek council approval to have any possible say.

These people should be exposed for the fascist group of narrow-minded control freaks that are so removed from the broad minded control freaks of the wikipedia community who truly do strive for rational control to prevent errors existing for very long. Wikipedia is no find a grave and the attitudes of the policies and one or more of the admins in rudeness and insensitivity must be exposed to the light of public day.

Until changes are made,

Find A Grave (Findagrave) will remain a site run under corrupt standards warped by those in the power to change them to well-known standards that are not subject to the arbitrary caprice and retaliation of any Admin for treating him as a servant of those who expect quality and instead get Find a Grave indifference and disrespect of your kin folks, a disrespect which should be punishable by at least 24 hours in the olden days Puritan stocks.

CP has it only partially right:

" I think I would just bypass this site " for such as they deserve to have the standards discussed above revealed to the same world that they are making money off of and laughing as Ninja, Royalty and all kinds of disrespectful names, attitudes and actions.

[This post would never reach publication on their blogs as they censor all BAD NEWS, as defined by them, and the truth about them wherever written is the


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#114211 Review #114211 is a subjective opinion of poster.
Bridgewater, Massachusetts
Find A Grave Forum

Find a grave should be find a heartache

Find a grave says that membership is free and that you can sponsor a loved one's site and post pictures. They do not have a complete set of rules anywhere on the site. They make them as they go. Instead of helping and being understanding to other's grief they are the most rude administrators I have ever been in contact with. They have a small group of forum members that are giving preferential treatment and if you ever disagree with them your memorials and sponsorships are gone. They will delete a loved ones memorial in a second and give no consideration to your grief. Admin's will not contact you for any reason except when they want to give a rude response to you. Not a site I would recomend to anyone. Very poor management.
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poor ignorant larry must be a newbie and is not aware that the faq's have changed several times over the years they are "frequently ask questions" they are NOT RULES!


Have you ever read the Find A Grave Questions & Answers? Everything you need to know including guidelines are there!!!!!!!!!!


I was amazed at all the negative comments surrounding the findagrave website. When you are the one going through it, you don't realize that others have had the same bad experiences and in some cases much worse ones. There are legions of people complaining about the website. I thought was the main venting place but there are many others all over the web.

If there is an example of how NOT to run a website, it looks like findagrave has found it. I have been in contact with well over 100 people that experienced problems, if not out and out harassment from the members and admin of the site. There is actually a lawsuit pending regarding the lost work involved by some of the former members.

The worst part for findagrave though, is they have become a joke to the community. Findagrave thinks it's flexing it's muscles when it deletes accounts and removes other people's work. But what they are really doing is creating dead links that ancestry had listed as relevant information. This has made look bad and they do not take that lightly.

A friend of mine works at and they receive a multitude of complaints about dead links from findagrave all the time. It's my understanding that ancestry has to remove all the findagrave links from their site and disassociate themselves from them.

I mean when you have the largest website in the industry actually linking to your site that's a big deal. But they blew it - All because they wanted a select few to be the big fish in a little pond.

It's mind boggling! Actually, it's a shame because findagrave had an opportunity to be one of the "big" ones but instead they let their egos and troublemakers ruin their chances of ever being taken seriously. :x


I have had similar experiences. This site is a dictatorship and it hides behind the guise of helping others connect with their loved ones.

They are despicable!

I too have experienced the rudeness of the admins, the failure to respond, and the deletion of years worth of work due to preferential treatment of another member. The member's name is BB - no bio given. At the time of her attack on me, I had been a member for nearly 9 years.

The BB member was listed as having been a member for 3 years. She spammed my email box with claims of duplicate listings. I let her know that I did not have duplicates as the originals were incorrect and although I contacted the original creators I had never received an answer. Also, some of her claims of duplicates were just flat out lies.

In most cases they were two completely different people. This woman was trolling the entire site 'looking' for duplicates and her wall was filled with messages from other members that complained of her harassment and spamming, all in regards to so called dupes. I told her that I had no idea why she kept hounding me about these so called duplicates when the listings didn't even belong to her. Then one day, my account was deleted.

All my work was gone. I contacted the admins but never did get a response. That was 6 months ago and still nothing. I checked the BB profile and suddenly she's been a member for 9 years now.

She was able to change that, which tells me she IS the admin. She's one of those "numbers" submitters and couldn't care less if her info is correct or not. She has absolutely no regard for anyone's grief and after my work was deleted SHE entered MY information as her own.

Be very wary of this site. :roll


"I let her know that I did not have duplicates as the originals were incorrect . .



??? If there are originals, then the ones YOU newly create become the DUPLICATES - except in bizarro world


I was banned recently for disagreeing with some of the lifer/lurker types on the discussion board. No cursing, no personal attacks on any specific individual ... just disagreeing with them.

Beware of this site. And trust me, they read this message board. They quote it all the time and make fun of the people who post here. They know exactly who you people are, and they wish they could ban you here too -- but this is beyond their reach. And it gets to them.

Trust me -- you can get their goat here. We're not talking about a group of mature adults here, we're talking about a bunch of Mall Cops (my apologies to Mall Cops everywhere).


after my three postings I REALIZED that this maybe a wrong site to request of adding my "LOVED ONES". To all of you that take pictures and ensure that our LOVED ones are with us not only in our hearts, but pictures of their final resting place-I feel ashamed that there are thoes of you that are unhappy and make a fool of yourselves in your post. Shame on you.


These are great posts and there are lots of great things that this website has done one was when a man thanked me for posting such a nice memorial for his father, please could you add the names of his sons, my brother is over fighting the war and has not been able to vist our fathers grave like the rest of us have :sigh I was like wow how wonderful. GET THIS STRAIGHT THOUGH !!!

The bad is waiting in the back wings my account was banned after five years for creating the only memorial in the maple lawn cemetery for a man named stephen jewett a *** hoarder created one 30 days before me and lobbed her memorial in a random cemetery and then told me she deleted then moved it to the correct cemetery lied to the administrator and said i intentionally duplicated. the woman 505 firefly also has a habit of this and threatens family members who get upset when she throws their grandmas name in the wrong cemetery for the purpose of increasing her number count. The administrator banned me because i asked my name not be in the memorial that has a link to her profile they are reading my name and they go to her nameless profile and read her attacking grandchildren of those she memorialized. They banned me the administrator deleted 5,000 memorials i walked cemeteries for and researched photographed edited and uploaded all because someone else broke the rules and threatened people i reported her bio 5 different times if she was not threatening family she was threatening other volunteers because they were upset she broke rules.

I was banned i think that was Julies the administrators mom who was attacking people and lobbed people with fake burial info. people as long as 10 year members have been burned by the very system mentioned in this post


I think FindAGrave is a wonderful site and it has helped me deal with the loss of my mom and also helped me with genealogy // i have had only positive communication with the *** administrators // no site is perfect and a volunteer site is only as good as the volunteers that are willing to respectfully communicate with the administratros in making the web site a great place to remember and honor those that have gone before us //


@Jim Bob: A lawsuit? Seriously? What was the loss you suffered/the grounds for your lawsuit?


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#114161 Review #114161 is a subjective opinion of poster.
Dawsonville, Georgia
Find A Grave Forum
On find a grave they let you sponsor a memorial then they will nit pick you to death about pictures and flowers that others leave . they are very inconsiderate. the admins on the site are extremely rude and obbnoxious to you, they will not e-mail you back and if they...
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Well I am very new to the site. There is one member I find disturbing.

She is over my grandmother’s memorial off my biological father’s side. After looking at her bizarre & *** profile I wouldn’t want her to have anything to do with any of my family member’s memorials. She has an extremely rude list of rules on her page saying what we can & can’t post on the memorials she creates. Then one of her virtual cemeteries she made is of others people’s children & babies that passed away.

That’s extremely disrespectful I feel to the families that lost their children. I was wondering how I could get her to get ride of the memorial & I just create a new one for my grandmother. I also got lead to here after googling it what sponsoring meant on the site since I see someone has even sponsored the memorial this woman made. I guess it shouldn’t hurt just to make my own memorial later?

It will have more details & actual pictures of my grandmother unlike the one this lady made. I am glad to know ahead of time what goes on now. Good to note not to contact the admins of the page. I honestly didn’t know any of this.

So far that’s the only problem I have come across on the site. Someone I don’t feel comfortable with being over a family member’s memorial.

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#114072 Review #114072 is a subjective opinion of poster.
Dawsonville, Georgia
Find A Grave Forum