Greensboro, North Carolina
48 comments

Find a grave is an arrogant web site that has no concern for the wishes of others. Yes allot of information is accessible through public domains.

Most of their minions do not care about accuracy or privacy.Their biggest goal is to contribute more than another.Our private family cemetery was published with photos of monuments and at least 30 interments inaccurate.

Most is removed after a week of e-mails and requests.Why does one have to

go through this anguish? Just a horrible intrusion of privacy.Hope they screw up enough for a large lawsuit.There is no way the dead can speak for themselves.Its time for others to stand up for them.

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Anonymous
#1295493

I somewhat agree with review below. Findagrave should have it that the family member be contacted and asked if its alright.

I think that is the prudent thing to do. I don't really care for them either they are very insinsitive because they think they have the law on there side so sc*** everybody.

No class, I would say they fall in between worms and carpetbaggers. In my case they didn't like what I had to say so they took my sons sight and put it so it can't be found or searched for and cannot be updated FROZEN.

Anonymous
#1071404

There is no invasion of privacy for the deceased and therefore there will be no "big" lawsuit. ANYONE walking thru a cemetery can stop and read any headstone, memorial, etc.

I am not a minion, nor do I care what my numbers are, how many photos, etc. I'm sure there are a few that see it as a competition, but as a general rule, those of us that do this, usually belong to one or more genealogical societies, have been researching our own lines for years and help others when asked or if it is known to me that you are interested in your lines and don't know where to start, I help often as I can. It makes me feel good that I was able to help someone/s that are interested in their family, the whys, where they come from, challenges they faced etc. I don't understand how you could even think it was an invasion of privacy.

If you came to me out of the clear blue and asked me a question about what to do, where to start, where was your gr gr grandmother in the 1800's etc, I would do whatever I could to answer those questions or put you on the path to finding them. I am not a professional genealogist, nor do I care to "get that piece of paper". Some people are very interested but feel overwhelmed and are lost, they don't know where to start, how to find a maiden name for a female that married into the family, where did the children go? disappeared where?

out West? Alaska? you get the meaning.

I have never asked for a dime from anyone that I could have helped or did help.

Anonymous
#1064117

I caught one of those creeps trying to photograph my wife's grave at Our Lady of Grace cemetery in Pennsylvania I asked her what she was doing she said she was with find A Grave and she was taking pictures I thought it was an invasion of privacy and to not take the photo of my wife's grave I actually Caught her clearing the leaves away to get a better picture. these creeps need to be stopped after I confronted her she got right in her red SUV and drove away.

Anonymous
#1064151
@Anonymous

The dead have no right to privacy. You will see that the put the people who pass SS# on line.

I think the site is a great way to honor are loved ones. If you can not get to the cemetery you can visit online.

AKB71
#1389353
@Anonymous

That is your opinion and not your child spouse sibling or parent's death being exploited for a buck. You may not be personally profiting but ancestry is.

Anonymous
#1053634

Who asked you?? You act like you are doing us a BIG favor by posting our families, you are not, it is one thing if a family member from out of state requests that you take a picture of a family members head stone, that I can understand, but you are snapping shots of the whole cemetery, without any requests at all, I feel harassed and invaded, "raped" The dead have no rights, but the living do, when you post obituaries with the names of the living, that is illegal, and not all cemeteries are public places, educate your self, this is not a good thing.

Anonymous
#1071369
@Anonymous

These names of the living that are making you feel raped, have already been published in newspapers and can be ready by anyone with a subscription and will be kept in an archive OWNED by the newspaper and anyone will be able to obtain a copy of it without your consent. The only way, the names of the living appear in an obituary is if a family member has given them the name and someone approved it.

This is usually done by phone. If your name was included in the original obituary, you have no reason to feel "raped" or "harassed" and it is NOT illegal as newspapers allow this and any responsible person that shares this type of information always credits the source or sources of information, including the published date and page #.

AKB71
#1389354
@Florida Rebel

I love the compassion you have for those who recently lost someone. Its similar to a sociopath.

Anonymous
#1053629

Wow, the people who do all the work, yeah, they may not make money, but the owners of find a grave are getting paid big time, trust that.

Anonymous
#1071362
@Anonymous

You have no idea what you are talking about. No.

The people that photograph and transcribe headstones do not get one penny. It is done out of love. How do I know this? I found this wonderful after doing many years of research [before Ancestry.com et.al] and found more information, quicker due to F.A.G.

than I had over many years [before Ancestry.com and the Mormans, you would have to travel all over the country visiting different court houses. I do it because I love and cherish my ancestors and literally knew NOTHING about any of them before my Grandparents on both my maternal and paternal lines. Originally, when photographing headstones, I would go to the cemetery and photograph Grandparents, aunts, uncles. I'd do more research and find that cousins and those branches were buried in the next set of plots over.

I hadn't yet found the name of a cousin's husband so I did not realize they were "right next door". So instead of missing them and not being able to make a return trip - maybe for many, many years, I photograph the entire place. One cemetery in particular, not huge, but with over 1500 interred, I discovered that I am related to appox. 99% of them going back to a grandfather that was there before it became a state [early 1800's].

When I go, I will be the 6th direct generation interred there. By the way, at one cemetery I photographed a monument that was a work of art. I had discovered that this man had made several voyages to South America in the very late 1800's and for several years in the early 1900s. I also knew he had had a son so I did some add'l research and discovered a family by same name living out West.

I assumed that this was a grandchild as the name was not a common one and their just HAD to be a connection. I called the # that I rec'd through 411 and spoke with the gentleman. I explained immediately who I was, the genealogical research I was doing and that I had a photo I had taken of his "grandfather" and I'd like to send it to him. The gentleman started sobbing.

It was NOT the grandson, it was the elderly son of the gentleman who's memorial monument I had become fascinated with. I then asked him about the many trips to S America but if he did not wish to answer, it was okay, I understood. I am now the keeper of many unknown to other's facts about my relatives but if they do not want something divulged, it never is and I intend to keep each every promise made. The gentleman I spoke with was thrilled.

His father died when he himself was still young and after the funeral they moved clear across the country and the last time he had seen the memorial, was the day of his father's funeral. It turned out that the his father was some type of overseer for the many banana plantations in SA and would travel to each and tell them when to harvest and ship as there were no refrigerated vessels at the time and "timing was EVERYTHING". He remembers a couple of the trips he took with his dad. We talked for hours and he seemed genuinely happy to do so and to someone who really cared [and I do] and it's not just a passing fad for me or phase.

I was bitten with this bug when under the age of 5 thanks to a wonderful great aunt whom I will treasure for the rest of my days and thank her for making me want to know my ancestors. I have now been researching actively for over 30 years. I started under the age of 25 and so many are shocked that I had such a desire to know people that I never met. I discovered several in my direct lines that fought in the Revolution, the French & Indian Wars, The Civil War, WWI, WWII, Vietnam, War of 1812, and so many interesting facts about my family that I never knew.

I wish I had known when I was in school. It would have made "history" so much more interesting to me that just something that was basically a memorization course of dates and events. So many of my ancestors fought and died for this great country and I owe it to them not to forget them and let their memory of their lives be forever forgotten. I discovered a great aunt that died at the age of 3 that my mother never even knew existed.

I found her grave and now my cousins know she lived and died and she is there, in one of the family's children's plots that all the names had disappeared from weathering. My youngest son, at the age of 14 found two graves for 2 family members that nobody knew where they had been interred. They old cement slabs were buried under more than 2 inches of dirt and in no way did I ever suspect that there were two slabs there but he told me he had a feeling that they would be there and around where they would have been buried and he was right - and now he shows love and respect for those that he will never know personally. Maybe some here do not care who their ancestors were or where they came from, but some of us do.

I share anything I find [except that which I have promised to keep to myself] to anyone that is related to anyone in my tree [I may not be related to them as they may be looking for someone that married into the family], but if I have found any info on that person or their extended family [and I do try to note EVERYONE found in the census data, just in case], I share it immediately with them. Our ancestry/heritage is the the property of just one person in a family tree, it belongs to all those interested. I never knew one of my grandfathers. He died very young, my mother was just 14.

The photos of him are scarcer than hens teeth, but I finally tracked down one of him as a young man before marriage. The photo was a bit old and faded and I restored it [myself, using Photoshop Elements] and we discovered that he had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. No one in the family that had ever seen that photo in the past knew he was smoking then but Mom laughed and said that's how she remembered him when she was little, him working and that cigarette hanging from his mouth [no, that is not what killed him]. Maybe some day, there will be a grandchild in your line that wishes they had had the opportunity to know you.

To know you existed, and loved your family and did all you could for them. Maybe you wish that some of the younger generations could have known your parents - Your Mom's magic in making fantastic pies and her sense of humor [which cannot be gleaned from old photos - especially the ones where they had to stand still for long moments and that she really was not as stern as she looks in the photo. She couldn't smile or it would have resulted in a blurry picture. Or maybe your dad had sparkling blue eyes that would twinkle when he teased your Mom.

Do you really not want to ever be remembered? A great grandchild may look exactly like you some day. Don't you want him to know that? And your life, the things you achieved, the love you had of a sport, or hobby a childhood pet?

To some of us, our ancestors are what makes us. If my distant grandfather had died in the Revolution, I would not be here and when you think on these things, you just are in total awe. I will not apologize for what I do. And those that have gone before us, belong to all members of a family.

A wife was once a child, with parents and maybe siblings. Why would I not want to share a pic of child of one of my Gr Aunts sisters, that passed and no one even knew she existed. A cousin was named for her but never knew. You can continue to wish that people would ignore family members but you don't have the right to Hoard their memories and keep them to yourself alone.

ALL family is to be loved and cherished. [sorry so long, but it's something I'm really passionate about.]

Anonymous
#1071384
@Anonymous

BTW, original concept of *** and the conditions under which it was sold to Ancestry are that it always was and will ALWAYS remain FREE for whomever wishes to utilize it.

AKB71
#1389358
@Florida Rebel

LMAO ancestry does not make a dime then bahahahahahha haaaa hahahahaha haaaaahahahahaha! What ever you need to tell your self to make it true hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous
#1005739

Since find a grave was purchased by ancestry.com the posts and so called owners of graves and thousands of obituaries have been made more public. Huge numbers of strangers have ma de it their mission to own and post bios and photos.

They roam cemeteries and post pics of markers with no respect for families.

It's time the cemetery boards step up and change their rules. A furious mother

Anonymous
#1071391
@a furious mom

What are you so upset about exactly? Obituaries have always been available through the newspapers and can be found just about anywhere now.

NOBODY but the publishing newspapers actually "own" the obituaries. These people that do post them are doing so so that other family members that may never have the opportunity to see the obit of know where a family member is interred can find them with as little trouble as possible. I have posted hundreds of photos of headstones and have been thanked many times.

I have provided copies of these pictures, completely free of charge, even in the days before digital cameras when I had to use [gasp] FILM, have them developed and printed.

The photos I take or the obit I look up for someone, that is someone that is loved and that has NOT been forgotten. I have come across many, many headstones that give a lot of biographical info on the deceased AND the family in general as well. SOMEBODY, somewhere is not only glad that their kin is remembered but they are happy to share what they can. The entire concept is about family, love, respect and remembering.

It is a great feeling to know that someone that you loved and cared for deeply is also loved by others and has a place in their heart reserved just for them.

As the parent of a deceased child, your pain is never going to leave, and I cannot imagine the agony it has brought and continues to bring you, but you should be happy that others

loved your child and still think of him or her. A parent should never have to endure that kind of pain. We, and I am a mother too, are just not engineered that way.

WE are supposed to go first, in the natural order of things, but life gets in the way and screws things up and life doesn't go as wanted or planned. I obviously do not know you but I have an inkling of understanding you thoughts, but please believe me when I tell you I have never done anything that I would consider disrespectful to either the departed or the family of the departed. I have cried over the graves of infants and children that are not in my family and whom I never knew or heard of but can see the love that is being missed just by looking at the grave. I also have never met anyone that would be disrespectful of any grave/cemetery/mausoleum, etc.

Nor would I ever profess to be "with" Find-a-Grave as it is all voluntary.

The reward for me and those that I know that contribute are just getting a thank you now and then from someone who may have spent years trying to find "Aunt Bessie's" grave or where "Uncle Howie" was laid to rest. No thanks are even necessary, because we know that someday a "lost" relative will be found, or a question answered and yes, it is worth it.

Anonymous
#579270

Find A Grave adminstrators & its members are grave vampires! STOP SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF THE SURVIVORS SO JIM TIPTON CAN PROFIT FROM OUR LOVED ONES DEATHS!!!

Anonymous
#530759

Just because a graveyard is outside does not make them "public property" to be entered at any time you want. In fact they are privately owned unless they are potter's field.

It is sick that someone sees trespassing in a cemetary as recreation. You are not performing a service to future generations. You are disgusting.

You are worthless. And you are trash.

Anonymous
#1071397
@Graveyards are not public

Where are you all getting this bad information from? How is Jim Tipton profiting from the deaths of your loved ones?

Have you ever even visited the site? His biggest goal was that F.A.G. always was and always would remain free to anyone that wished to research on it. He did not believe in charging for this wonderful service.

Thru F.A.G. I found where a distant grandfather was interred and from that information I "discovered" that he fought in the Revolution. NOBODY in my family knew that prior to finding his grave. How dare you call me disgusting, worthless and trash.

You do not know me. Who are YOU to say that future generations won't find the work being done a service for research they may be doing. Personally, I find YOU heartless. You're grouping a great many people together with labels and you know nothing about them, who they have lost and may be searching for, who they may have helped in the past to find someone that they are looking for or who in the future may even be looking for you - a beloved family member to those YOU love.

It is not ghoulish by any stretch of the imagination. I have always felt a peaceful calm in cemeteries, even as a child. I was once asked when in my teens how I could stand to be in such a place. The questioned stunned me.

I could not imagine NOT being there and "visiting" my loved ones. ... Wasn't I scared? was the next question.

Scared? Of what? Of people that I loved and who loved me [grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins] when they were alive? They loved me when they were living, why would they scare me now that they had passed?

Please refrain from insulting me or other's like me that see this as a gift of love. There may be some that try to "rack up #'s and brag to other's what they do, etc, etc.

But to the majority of us, we do it do it because we sincerely care.

Anonymous
#520450

what no AKA Anita Bracken :sigh seriously :cry aka it sounds cooler please :? next one please I want AKA Anita Bracken ok Charlotte.

Actually there is nothing more sad than an emotionally verbally abusive person building their *** self esteem by kicking upset people you know like you do... Trust me i am not interested in doing anything on that site other than expose it.

Expose people like you. Its funny how you are all like oh how many identities do you have hahahahahahah pixie dixie bugaboo hahahahah can you say projection,projection is accusing other people of something you are guilty of get some help friend and be nice to people I like you :zzz

Anonymous
#511850

@Anita: Of course you're all for banning someone else as you have been banned. Expecting someone to do something within 24 hours is ludicrous.

People have lives away from computers. Contributors work, participate in a wide variety of activities, {gasp} go on vacation; in other words, they live life.

You and Eric seem to have made bashing F.A.G.

your entire lives. Pity.

Anonymous
#1053628
@Read the FAQs

They are not alone, I am making it my whole life too, *** has gone too far, posting news clips that are copy written anad include the names of the living is a HUGE invasion of privacy and against the law, yes, it has become a thing, and the number of pissed off people is growing.