Ann Arbor, Michigan
Not resolved

they think what they're doing is alright. it just hurts people in more ways than just finding out that there loved ones grave is on the internet.


me & my family do not want my grandfathers, or other family on there. it is wrong!!!!!!!!!!! i want it deleted now! i love him, & i know for a fact that he would not want it on the internet. he didnt like the internet that much. & now i am starting to not either. its the work of the devil. completely. there making the world a sick place!!!!!! & taking peoples rights away.

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It is amazing to me, that you wrote evil threatening emails to Jim Tipton, kept on complaining and kept on complaining and kept on complaining making a complete spectacle of yourself, and then all of a sudden Find-a-grave is evil. The entire reason that you seem to have been mad is because someone else apparently had the audacity to post a public record, then you wanted it removed so that you could post it, rather than simply asking for a transfer.

You went on and on about that you had MULTIPLE listings, which means, that it is a numbers game for you as well. So then after demanding that your family is removed, and filing a complaint (which did absolutely nothing to Find-a-grave at all), you then got mad because your listings were all removed. I am certain every one will reappear on Find-a-grave because we are legally allowed to copy them. Obituaries, may be copied with written permission as well from the newspaper, which is very easily obtained.

Then you attack people who volunteer to add these submissions so that future generations will have the access to the information. If you don't like Find-a-Grave, perhaps Billion Graves will be a better fit for you, or have you complained and complained over there until you got thrown off of there too? I guess no one ever told you, the entire world does not revolved around you. Numbers are not why people add these submissions, they add them for future generations.

It is not a competition. Find-a-Graves sole purpose is recording cemeteries, nothing more and nothing less.


For God SAKE what the heck I cannot believe how many people have stopped and posted to a distressed family member to judge them for how they feel about this because your genealogy hobby is important to you. Well unlike you genealogy nut this distressed living family member is more important to me than you dumb genealogy.

You know who adds the info to an obit lady THE FAMILY DOES ! YOU KNOW WHO DECIDES TO POST IT ON THE INTERNET LADY?



I find it a bit curious as did one of the other posters that you will post an obituary in the paper but are freaked out by it being on the internet. I am not totally insentive to the feelings of people who have lost a loved one.

But I also was thrilled to death to find quite a few very old family graves from across the country that are helping me in my family search. I just do not have the money to go all over the place myself & or hire people to research for me. So this really is an interesting option for me. I saw that someone posted my great grandmother & Great grandfather's headstone & it had dates I needed.

I also found out they had a child that died in infancy I didn't know about. As I said I do feel for you out there but have some consideration for people like me. I have a huge family on both sides some of who were here in early 1700's. So it is difficult to locate people.

I would be thrilled if someone would do a project of putting on as many old graves as possible.

It would help tremendously. Good luck to all of you who have had problems but don't make it harder for honest decent people like myself.


Texas has allowed to digitize death certificates up to 1999. Many of my ancestors vitals and the cause of death are available to any and all who view these death certificates.

Basically, the dead don't have the right to privacy that living people have. Your granddad could wind up on the internet in many ways - unclaimed property on states' websites, etc.

He's probably there in records at, too. After a point, it's all public knowledge, and living persons' basic right to gain what is known in public records.


UPDATE: Since I last posted in December and filing a better business bureau complaint against them, I finally heard from owner Jim Tipton and we talked it out. He's a very *** guy and basiclly said: "It's a pet peeve of mine when people submit BBB complaints regarding Find A Grave. The BBB sees them as a waste of time because they are typically policy disputes, not customer/business disputes. If there's no exchange of money, they basically aren't interested. And, I, personally, certainly see BBB complaints as a waste of time. I let them sit on my desk for weeks or months and then I finally call and explain the situation and they dismiss them."

He reinstated my account (partially) and all my memorials (so clearly nothing is ever truly deleted. I then canceled my BBB complaint.

Since then, the problems all started up again. I submitted several famous memorials only to have them all shot down or given to someone else. Each time something would happen, I would carefully outline it and send it to Jim. No responses.

Then out of the blue, I could no longer access parts of my account. I couldn't go in and change any of my preferences or see my profile page. It appears it was blocked. My memorials were all there, though. So I continued to work on them and wrote to Jim asking why. No response.

I found I could do things, but had to go in backwards. I had to go to one of my memorials, and if I wanted to see my virtual cemeteries, click on that person's virtual cemetery and go in that way. I kept writing to Jim asking what was going on. No response.

So I wrote to him and told him that I was reinstating the BBB complaint and was going to contact the US Copyright Office, the US Attorney General and several of the large media outlets showing how FindAGrave sits back and allows for the stealing of copyrighted materials to be posted on their site.

No response.

Then the other day I was on my high school alumni website (that I am the administrator of) and clicked on a classmates link to his memorial on FindAGrave. It came up as non existent. ***! I started clicking on others, the same thing. So I checked my mom's memorial and sure enough, it was deleted.

All of my memorials have been deleted AGAIN! Guess he finally got wind of my complaints!

I've also written to outlining all of this and requesting that they look into starting a similar service there. They wrote back and told me I'm not the first to complain to them about FindAGrave and that they would indeed check with their programmers and see about offering the "memorial" services.

I know many of you LOVE this site and I did too. But there are too many egos there ruining things for others, and they can't be allowed to destroy hundreds of hours of someone's work (that deals with their loved ones) with the click of a computer key.

I will now work tirelessly to see that either things change there, or the site is taken down and revived somewhere else. No one controls or destroys my work and gets away with it.

Also, are you all aware that if you delete a photo from a memorial, it's never really deleted unless you specifically write them and ask that it be deleted from the server. Even then, can you really trust that they'll do it?


If it wasn't for Find A Grave I wouldn't have needed information on my Family Tree!

I also have to then Pay It adding people that are not in said Cemetery yet.


People who posts obituaries are guilty of copyright law infringement, from my understanding. The people who write the obituary have a copyright on the article, and if you do not have written permission from the author to use the obituary, you are guilty of copyright infringement.


unfair only the people who think they run the site and their friends who gossip and post false and mean ugly things lies about other contribributors there it so unfair to the nice people who have done nothing except get bullied on.


Nottellingmyname needs to grow up and get educated on "rights" before Nottellingmyname posts really *** posts!

I mean seriously?

Knowing there are people out there this uneducated and self centered is a thousand times worse than any site that honors the dead that walked before us.


@ nottellingmyname: If you don't want the info up on Find a Grave then I hope you didn't put an obituary in the PUBLIC newspaper and you should remove your grandfather or his marker from the PUBLIC cemetery!


It is clear some posting here on this thread do not know Findagrave and its situation.

I doubt this is true, but will leave it to others to show that it is in the rules or that they have had success getting their wive (one man complained of their refusal to remove it and was verbally spat on here by findagrave true hypocrites:

"Written by preservingthepast, on 30-01-2010 00:52

Find a Grave is not evil. If you wish for your family members' memorial to be removed, send an email to Subject line - Please remove my "family member"'s memorial. List their name, birth & death dates, cemetery, state and county so they can find the right one. They will remove it."


Find a grave helped me find out where 2 of my cousins were buried. Something that I did not know.

Graves are history you can walk through a cemetery and learn about the town its people and so much more.This site respects the dead also it helps the living! I love the site!!!!


Leave "Nottellingmyname" alone. He or she is entitled to their opinion.

If anyone is close minded, it is you *** zealots who have ganged up aginst this thread.

Have more of your *** "kool-aid", you blubbering clowns... :grin


I have been a contributor to Findagrave for the last 7 years. In that time I have only had one or two complaints for my postings.

Most people are grateful to see that someone cared enough to take the time to make a permanent record of their loved ones grave. The ones that have complained I calmly write to them and try to help them in any way to make them more comfortable with it. There is grief for the loved ones who survive, however, Dead people have no privacy. After they are dead and gone, only the mortal remains are there if you believe in heaven, you know that your loved ones are not there any way.

The preservation of history begins with each and every genealogist, and we do take the time to help those who may appreciate these later. Those who don't appreciate it, just need to learn to deal with what people are doing and quit making more out of it than what it is.


Your self-righteous comment is pitiful.


You are a self centered, self righteous, insensitive misguided loser !


Keep up the good work, we do appreciate you, and I am so sorry that other people don't. I am also sorry that they were so rude.


I am a member at Find A Grave. You are wrong when you say that it is evil.

If you have a problem, e-mail someone and ask for the memorial to be removed. It won't stop someone from making another memorial though. It's too bad your mind is so closed to people trying to preserve history. The only memorials I've made at Find A Grave are MY family members, and none of my still living family has a problem with it.

Perhaps you need a thicker skin? :cry


Find a Grave is not evil. If you wish for your family members' memorial to be removed, send an email to

Subject line - Please remove my "family member"'s memorial.

List their name, birth & death dates, cemetery, state and county so they can find the right one. They will remove it.


Terry, you are not correct. Anyone can submit any photo or information to findagrave without paying any fee. They do it for the "fun" of it. Some people read all the obituaries in their local papers or old books of transcriptions and "contribute" them to FindaGrave. They are rewarded for their volunteer contributions by "numbers" that say how many memorials they have contributed. You can put grave photos there also--as many as you want. There are advertisements that pop up on each memorial page.

If a person wants to pay $5 to Findagrave to sponsor a page, then the ads go away. The majority of the memorial pages are just supported by the advertising.

Kelly, Your remark to the original post shows how rude and immature you are. You would fit right in as a Findagrave forum member. Maybe you'd like to join. I agree with the original post. There is a pervasive evil on their discussion board. You might like it, though.