True, Diehard has his Message option disabled on findagrave most likely because he would receive much hate mail. He isn't the only findagrave member who needs to tend to their own business.
WHO CARES IF THERE ARE DUPLICATES?? Get a life and stop snooping, bullying and being busybodies!! If I want to add a family member I will since I have the correct information and pictures, and can add as I see fit without having to go through some second party who knows nothing about the family. I have read numerous Messages on findagrave complaining of incorrect information some second party added.
LET THE FAMILY HANDLE THEIR LOVED ONES MEMORIALS!! If I create a nonfamily member memorial and a their family asks that I Transfer Management I am more than happy to do so.