San Antonio, Texas
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I was recently doing some research on my deceased father and found a picture of his headstone and his information on this site, Findagrave.com. After doing more research and looking into it, I realized that the person who posted it and made a "memorial" for my father is a stranger to not only my father; but, our family.

I was appalled to see a link to "upgrade" his memorial and a link to pay to have ads removed. What kind of people profit off the death and sorrow of other families? The people that take these pictures and post these memorials call themselves "gravers" and from what I can gather from forums and research are trying to collect these pictures to increase their numbers on the website, while the administrators and creators of this website are collecting money and profiting from dead family members. I want my father's memorial deleted and when I emailed the individuals who posted it, they replied with nasty emails with foul language.

It was incredibly unprofessional and shows their lack of respect for the dead and their survivors. Can someone please tell me the best way to have a memorial removed from Findagrave.com?

Product or Service Mentioned: Find A Grave Forum.

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Anonymous
#1700433

I joined the website because I was looking for my relatives that passed away. Some of them I didn't know where they were buried before I joined.

Now, I know where most of them are, even my ancestors. It started out as one thing and now I help others find their relatives and ancestors. As for the ads, it's how websites make money. It has nothing to do with your family or staining your family's name.

I also make no money on the memorials I have added or manage. I would turn it down if I was offered. Most of the members are on the website because they love history, including myself. If a person wants a profile I manage because they are related to that said person.

I have no issue handing it over to them. People have done the same for me. That being said, there are a few on the website who don't care for history and have no respect for the goals of the website of helping others and preserving history. It is a numbers game to them and they should be banned immediately!

One idiot you ran into shouldn't sully the websites good nature. Email the admins and tell them that this person has false information and that you want it changed.

There is no reason why it should be deleted because you don't care for preserving history. Stop being selfish.

Anonymous
#1739277
@Anonymous

Well said!

Anonymous
#1673771

Most find a grave members respect the dead. When I researched my family history and traced my ancestors back to my 15th great grandfather, I used find a grave to locate thousands of family member.

I am grateful for them. I too, found my fathers memorial on their and the person signed it over to me.

Anonymous
#1510326

I am sorry to hear that you are dissatisfied about your father memorial, You might find this hard to believe, but no one at Findagrave gets paid, I manage almost 370 memorials, and have taken almost 1400 pictures of headstones and have never got paid on paid on cent, we are all volunteers our time and cost, what you paid for was the advertising, a lot of people have the same problem, and it is very hard to get your money back, if your unhappy with the picture, click on the name under the picture the and ask the person to remove there picture. to have the memorial removed, go the suggest edits tab, it's near the center or the page just below the memorial ID number & View Source, once your in the edit area, go to the bottom of the page, and click on suggest other corrections, there you will ask them to the memorial and why.

But remember try to work out your problem, yes have just gotten the memorial, but there is nothing to keep someone else fromeopening up another memorial. I hope I have helped, Thank You Dennis Friedman dennisjf12@gmail,com

Anonymous
#1600219
@Dennis Friedman

Yea I asked the person to remove the misinformation on my fathers and they refused ..it was a completely false obit with completely inaccurate information

Anonymous
#1641827
@Anonymous

How can an obituary be completely false? Didn't your family submit it to the newspaper through the funeral home?

Anonymous
#1382452

I found my grandparents crypts posted on the site. I want it down Now!!!

I personally own the crypts.

They should at least ask before posting pics. I don’t even let family post pics why would I let a stranger post.

Anonymous
#1596269
@Sandra

Because people research and people want to find their relatives. You are never the sole owner of a deceased persons grave or holding.

Unless you own the property it sits on.

Why would you want no one to have access but yourself? You and I do not live forever.

Anonymous
#1712759
@Shirley

yes

Anonymous
#1654400
@Sandra

Too funny. It's a grave not a dirty family secret. Stop protecting and hiding it.

Anonymous
#1360049

The contributors don't make money from this. They are just hoping to preserve history.

A grave location is public information, even if the cemetery is on private property. If there is a marker or monument, the person's family meant for them to be seen and remembered. I don't know about the ads because I use ad blockers on all my devices so I can't see them.

If you go on Ancestry.com or any other search site, your loved one can be found by strangers. It's just not possible to obliterate them from existence if they had any vital records through their church or local government.

DecentCommonFrog
#1454726
@Kathy

Preserve history?! Bull.

In my eyes it's a numbers game. I've been a member on find a grave since 2004, I have approximately 10 memorials on my profile, all relatives. It seems to me these people don't care who they put on the site or what they add, just as long they get that number up there. They've got people on that site with over 1million memorials, are they all related to these people.

Most likely not!! It's just what they can put on their profile for the numbers...Find a grave has gone down the toilet as far as I'm concerned...!!

Anonymous
#1489075
@DecentCommonFrog

I was wondering what the outcome of this was? Did find a grave delete it yet?

I'm asking because I just found my husbands headstone posted. I am beyond livid! My name and date of birth are also on the headstone. I have spoke with my grown sons about it and they think its disgusting.

We don't want photos of his headstone posted online. If someone were to create a memorial with pictures of him while he was alive and that celebrate his life that's a different story but not like this.

Its only a reminder of the worst day of our life. I have emailed findagrave and asked it be removed in its entirety.

Anonymous
#1641828
@AmyW

Contact the memorial manager and explain the situation. I never post photos of tombstones unless everyone on it has died.

Anonymous
#1675057
@DecentCommonFrog

A stranger placed information of questionable information on. my families (all of them) pages which I am the monitor - just don't understand the misuse of a wonderful site

Anonymous
#1248054

This is an old post but I feel compelled to respond. I understand exactly how this person is feeling.

It is beyond disgusting to have advertisements for tampons and beer on the gravesite memorial page of deceased people with a "pay five bucks if you want these ads to go away". It is also beyond disgusting that "gravers" can hoard mass memorial records as long as they are two generations removed from originating family members, even if they have absolutely no relation to the family at all. *** condones and supports and implements moral and ethical abuses of our deceased that would make anyone with any kind of conscience want to puke. In doing so they attract dirtbags who are the primary people they call gravers adding these records and then hoarding them or trading them like baseball cards for ratings.

The only recourse an actual human being can take is to request if not beg for a record transfer and then pay five dollars per memorial to get rid of the humiliating advertisements so their loved ones are not being disrespected in such a deplorable manner. I shutter not only for what I see happening at *** but for how this opens the door for even worse violations to come with other such companies in the future.

Our society has really stooped to a whole new level of disgrace. Very sad to see.

Anonymous
#1654401
@Anonymous

Much of the advertising you see comes from what you google. You've been googling tampons and beer?

Anonymous
#1104211

You can request that a memorial of a family member be removed by sending an email to Find A Grave. Look in their FAQ's and other sources for information on the left side of the memorial.

I am sorry that your experience was so bad, that should not have happened.

I am not sure if *** will permanently remove the memorial or just the present one.

Anonymous
#1053053

Find a grave will remove your father if you ask. It may take a few weeks but email support@findagrave.com.

But it could get added again it someone walks a cemetery and takes photos. If you join you can have it transferred to you. Then you can wright a nice bio for him. I do it so others can find long lost family.

If you still have the persons email send a copy to them. There is no need for Rudeness.

Anonymous
#1052812

I'm sorry for the loss of your father. I am a Find-A-Grave volunteer and we go to cemeteries near where we live and take photos of headstones and make memorials online for those family members who don't live nearby.

I am always happy to transfer memorials over to a family member when contacted. I am sorry that the person who did the memorial is not doing what you wish about it.

Please report them to the administrators, nothing may come of it because cemeteries are on public land most of the time. Once again so sorry you've had a negative experience.

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