Little Rock, Arkansas
Not resolved

I recently lost my husband a couple of months ago. Somehow he was on Find A Grave, without my or any other family member's permission.

There with photos of him, one of which I have never seen. They had him buried in a particular location where we are planning to bury him before he was buried. They even had his birth date wrong. Apparently, some of his information was taken from the local newspaper obituary.

Find A Grave needs to have some sort of grace period respecting the grieving families. I would suggest 5 to 10 years before listing unless they have contacted the family members for permission. Thankfully, after contacting the contributor, the posting was removed.

I am writing this because I do not want anyone to have to go through this. He hasn't even been gone 5 months.

Product or Service Mentioned: Find A Grave Profile.

Reason of review: Not as described/ advertised.

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The same thing happen when my husband passed. A person listed it with incorrect information and my husband doesn't even have a grave.j


If the cemetery has their own website with grave listings, would you also object to your loved one appearing there for 5-10 years? If your loved one is buried in a National Cemetery, they will appear on the National Gravesite Locatur the month after the burial.


Funeral homes, cemeteries and the like are one thing b/c it’s part of what they do and families expect to see those memorials in fact we look for them and know that it was part of someone’s job to put that up there.

*** * ****e is a completely different animal b/c when I first found a family member on the site they had been dead for 50+ years and I was really happy to find it. And it gave me the impression that the purpose for the site was for genealogy and history buffs who do voluntary historical research, which I was fine and supportive with.

But when I found a memorial for my mother had been created 3 months after she died I had a problem with it for a few reasons. The first being that she knew about the site and asked me to wait to post a memorial for her, the second being it was completely unnecessary b/c the funeral home and cemetery already had that covered so it was already completely searchable online the third being you don’t know who is posting this stuff and what sort of information they have access to. Whereas with funeral homes and cemeteries you know it was someone’s job you know where to go if there is a problem and are talking to a person with a real name.

So what they have been doing on *** * ****e is completely unnecessary unless it was done by a family member.


Instead of going by the "impression" you got, you should have read the FAQs b/c, you know, that's has the real info about the site. Just sayin'.

See, it's about all graves & final dispositions: new ones, old ones and non-graves (like body donated to science).

If the person is deceased and the disposition is known, they belong on Find A Grave. If your mother knew about the site and her info was going to be published on a funeral home site or in a newspaper, why did she think no one else would create a memorial for her?


My daughter was posted before we even had her buried, also someone got it from an obit, two people actually posted her obit, one did it before she was even buried the other about ten days after...I wasn't in the mindset to put it up yet, but I then felt I had to before someone else did,it broke my heart m she was only 25.


This just happened to me. My mother died and a *** contributor keen on high stats posted her memorial with incorrect and incomplete information on the date of her death, days before her funeral.

In fact her body was still at home. The family created a memorial a short while later, which I sponsored and posted photos and a biography to.

When I contacted the other contributor and asked that they delete it as they did not know her and as her only child I should be able to manage the memorial, *** transferred my sponsorship to them and deleted the family created memorial. I agree that there are a lot of good things about *** but the practice of trawling through obits and posting them on the date of death or before the funeral is truly disgusting.


It's a normal thing for this website--it's the sole purpose of the site--to record the burial information or final disposition of remains, no matter when the death occurred. My sincere sympathies for your loss, it's understandably unnerving to see them listed when you are hardly able to wrap your heart around the fact that they have passed away, but it's what the site is and what the site does.

No different than how hard it must be to see the original obit in the newspaper. That's so horrible the newspaper got the birth date wrong. :( I hope they corrected it.

If you want to correct it on the Find A Grave website, just click on the Edit tab near the top right of his memorial page. Again, my condolences on your loss.


People are loading memorials from the obituaries. In Champaign County Ohio C and Y who is Candi G does this every day.

She loves her stats. It is a way to control a cemetery and everyone has to send edits to her and add photos to her.


It also happened to my family member, it is quite a normal thing on this site. People jump to list a persons death before their body has had a chance to grow cold in the morgue--- Completely disgusting!