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Hi, I am BJS #4874****. I have been researching for over 8 years now through ancestors.com, books, and personal interviews of my husband, and my family line.

I only have 48 Memorials that I manage and have made 9 Memorials. While I love FAG I am still finding people who refuse to transfer ownership to me when they are my direct line. I really need help with Suki Davey #4788**** who has refused me my direct Great-Grandparents about 3 times. I have asked politely and her last comment was for me to understand the hundreds of hours people have spent in research and time.

Also, she told me, a transfer does not have to happen automatically. I would like to manage Alberic Mondville, #12806****, as He is my direct Great- Pepere, and my direct great-Memere Leocadie Levesque dit Lafrance Mondville #12806****. They are not in SUKI DAVEY direct French blood line. She has practically the entire St.

Joseph Cemetery in Biddeford, Maine.

This is not right as I have many, many family members there and they are not hers. Help!

Find A Grave Pros: Helping future generation relatives find pertinent.

Find A Grave Cons: Inactive memorial manager, Getting screwed over.

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Guest

Sounds like Millennial entitlement

Guest

I also find your actual Find A Grave page very interesting, BJS.

Your bio page states the following:

"The Memorial Page on Find a Grave should be packed with information."

...yet, in looking at all 9 of the entries you have created, ONLY ONE has a copy/paste obit and the other EIGHT are COMPLETELY bare other than dates and linking - no bios, no photos - so, why the discrepancy here???? You haven't added a single photo to any entry on the site.

All this 'research" and family history information, but not a DROP on these entries?

I also see some of the messages left on your page, and it's apparent you don't play well with others when denied a transfer. No photos, no sharing unless you "have" the entry.

Ever think about writing and submitting a nice bio or adding photos to an entry you DON'T manage to show your interest and your desire to SHARE to make the memorial a really nice one.....???? never mind, I have my answer.

Guest

I understand your frustration. I have a similar situation with a Find A Grave contributor (***) that only goes by the name โ€œBarbโ€ and her *** ID is: #4693****.

Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, this โ€œBarb characterโ€ does not allow public comments on her personal *** page.

Hereโ€™s my story. I took care of my mother in my home for the last five years of her life and as you might imagine it was particularly intense and difficult for the 11 months that she was on hospice prior to her death on May 20, 2015. I had been a *** member for about 3 ยฝ years at the time of my motherโ€™s death and was able to have other *** contributors transfer management of some of my familyโ€™s memorials over to me. Within a week after I took care of my motherโ€™s funeral and final affairs I created a memorial for her on Find A Grave and linked other family members to her memorial (#14677****).

However, one of my cousins brought to my attention the fact that there was another memorial for my mother that had been created by this โ€œBarb characterโ€ the day after my motherโ€™s death (May 21, 2015) that consisted primarily of her obituary and the pictures that we included in her obituary. I immediately contacted this โ€œBarbโ€ person and informed her of who I was and that I had created a much more detailed memorial for my mother and requested that she delete the one that she had created. This โ€œBarb personโ€ has never replied to my initial an subsequent messages and whatโ€™s strange is that she took information from the memorial that I had created and included much of it in the memorial that she had created and then was somehow able to have the memorial that I created deleted. Really?

Hard to believe, but I now recognize that there are โ€œ*** contributorsโ€ who are nothing more than psychologically disturbed competitors engaged in a contest of who can create and manage the most memorials on Find A Grave. Thatโ€™s kinda sick โ€“ eh?

I had given up on attempting to get my motherโ€™s memorial transferred over to me until just a few days ago; I suppose because the two-year anniversary of her death is approaching rapidly.

Anywayโ€ฆ I wrote a message regarding this matter to the curators/managers/administrators at Find A Grave this past Friday. Iโ€™ll let you, this forum, and my attorney know what transpires regarding this peculiar and highly unethical situation.

Guest

Are they your actual great grandparents (not 2nd, 3rd or more)?

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1315725

What do you mean by ACTUAL? What else would they be?

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1318023

Many people requesting a transfer say "great grandparent" when the "actual" relationship is 2nd great grandparent, 3rd great grandparent, 4th great grandparent, etc.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1318628

If a family requests a transfer of 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th 10th grandparents and they are not YOUR family ---- Then transfer all of them to the family who wishes to have them and WHO they belong too. Family members can do a much better job with Biographies as these people are their biological family members!

Shakelia Wey
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1318628

Members should be more concerned about having accurate memorials than whether or not they "manage" every relative.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1318023

No need to ask for transfers for ancestors to you, because it wont happen very often. Some do it out of honesty BUT.....

some people on this site are far to grumpy, whiny and gripe for even asking for such a thing..... and do mean things for revenge for even asking. Some are not all together upstairs in the noodle department.

Just stay away from the achy, grouchy, old grumps! There are too many neurotic people there who grumble complain constantly.

Guest

Simple fix versus whining here about it.

Determine if you REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED to have management of the entries.

If you feel you do, send an email to Support@***e dot com with links to the memorials for your great-grandparents.

In this email, request transfers of these great-grandparents to your account based on the four-generation Family First rule.

CLEARLY state your relationship to the deceased.

WAIT - it will not happen overnight but these entries WILL be transferred to you within a few weeks.

This family relationship is a required transfer UNLESS the memorial manager is more closely related.

Then move on and do something to make a difference on the site versus being a gimme-grabber - you've made 9 entries but manage 48? You are a relative collector.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1315699

They are NOT closer related to my grandparents! They are insane BULLIES & GREEDY SICKOS!

Most are not even related ......not even 20 generations back! Orrrr whatever!

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1316497

I'd bank on it that nasty corrupt people there on *** are nasty and corrupt in the same manner outside of ***. Mean people have NO FRIENDS in-or-out of ***-- So these lesser than Jack A's called *** with lower than low mental capacities are NOT very intelligent!--- Mark my word they are not in any way Genealogists?

They are copy cats, thieves and hoarders! These whacks sit around daily on their BIG puter-butts confiscating material from others with nothing else to do in their pitiful lives - what a farce!

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1316497

You cannot determine if someone is related "20 generations" back - that's THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of descendants at that point. And when you get past the point of the required 4 generation transfer, you ABSOLUTELY can have multiple Find A Grave members with the same relationship distance from the deceased.

I know of at least 7 Find A Grave members who can all claim they are 3rd great grandchildren of one man (including me). Who gets the memorial when several of them ask for it? HMMMM???????

REGARDLESS, the site is for DOCUMENTING GRAVE SITES - it was NOT created as a family genealogy site and years ago there WAS NO TRANSFERRING ANYWAY. - and when you get all upset over not having management you are trying to make the site something it's not.

Want to have an entry the way you want it? Start your own site. Join Ancestry and create a family tree and add thousands of people just the way you want. GROW UP and GROW A PAIR.

I just love to read the rants that people have when they are actually told NO regarding a transfer. Then the ugly name calling and public posting about how horrible that person is because they won't "give" you control. AND in this case , IF the entries are for your GREAT GRANDPARENTS, it's a REQUIRED transfer and with a LITTLE EFFORT on your part, Find A Grave WILL give you management of the entries!!!!

But no, you have to come over here and God knows where else to COMPLAIN and MOAN and show your HIND END over a situation like this!! I hope you are NEVER presented with a REAL problem in your life, you won't know what to do.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1318814

*** grave has changed completely since AncestryDOT COM now own it! And YES it is now a genealogy website.

It is also much better!

And it is NOW all about genealogy! The only problem with *** is that it needs to clean up the oldie-bullies and all the crazy-whacks off there and then it will be perfect!

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1318814

DNA is being done on old bones and also on ancient bones . It works well for identifying your roots.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1318814

You, ItsNotDifficultFolks, appear to be a very "difficult" and self-serving person. Are you, by chance, one of the obituary thieves who competes on Find A Grave to create thousands of memorials for people that you have no connection to for your own ego gratification?

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1318814

You could be right about Hind A Grave!?!?!? However, people are like who they chum with. :(

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1316497

Unfortunately there are a few people on *** who only go there to play games with others and never enter more than a dozen of less memorials. Deviates!

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1316497

Nah...you just want to complain. Easy fix, but b&%^ching and moaning about it fulfills your psyche more than figuring out how to work within the rules of the site.

Did you ever get your great-grandparents transferred to you, a required transfer upon request? I bet not because you can't figure all this out.

And this goes for all 35 of you who decided my response was not helpful.....laughing at each and every one of you right now!!!!

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1369273

and to Jack - tell me how I'm "difficult" when I'm fulfilling the rules of the site, hmm??? most of my entries are made from my own photos walking the cemeteries.

How is this "self-serving", hmm??? I did the work and donated my time to the site. Some from digging through old newspapers and finding obits of people probably not thought of in 50 years. How is that "ego gratification" ????

Do you have to be rewarded for everything YOU do in life? Never do anything for anyone without getting a pocketful of compensation, I'm betting.

I transfer out of guidelines when I see someone is genuinely interested versus the "gimmie all the Smith's in this cemetery, they are 'my family' and I want to 'keep them together' and 'link them' as they deserve bulls^%t"

all you complainers should get together and create your own site and muck it up the way you want it. then allow others to participate and see where it goes from there when those newcomers want to change YOUR site to conform to THEIR wants......

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